Archives for September 2018

How to Completely Transform Your Life

“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.”
– C. Joybell C.

We all experience life through the lens and perspective of our inner monologue. And too often, this commentary has been driven by pure negativity. We easily get caught in patterns of pessimism and become more likely to cast judgment, doubt and heavy criticism towards ourselves when things go wrong.

With effort and intention, we all have the power to shift this inner self-talk and sustain an affirmative and cheerful outlook on life.

Change the Script

What we focus on grows.

So if your inner dialogue is spouting off ideas about yourself that limit you, make you feel less than you are or that you are not worthy of achieving your dreams, it is time to shift your narrative.

Try it with me now:

“I am no longer a victim of my past. I clear away any thoughts and beliefs that are no longer serving me. All my thoughts propel me into the direction I wish to be.”

Create your own, and use it as a mantra and tool to remind yourself daily. It’s important to practice this when you’re in a good place, as it’s the habit that will drive you forward when you’re in a not so good place.

 

Don’t Dwell on the Gloom

Its clear how great of an impact this inner voice can have on our experience.

We can see this easiest when we make mistakes in our lives.

In these moments, we are vulnerable to the self-deprecating messages that rain heavily upon us for tripping up. Perhaps you’ve been replaying the same thought in response to missteps since you were a child. Maybe there was someone in your life that made you feel immense guilt and shame for your oversights, telling you things like, “You’ll never amount to anything,” or “You can’t do anything right.”

While we can’t change what others have said to us as a result of our shortcomings, we can change how we react to our mistakes today, because they will happen, to all of us.

Change the script and instead affirm,

“I choose to learn and grow from my mistakes.”

Try:
  • writing three things you are proud about yourself
  • writing three things you think you would like to work on/improve

With this approach, you can applaud your efforts in each scene while being optimistic and constructive in how you can grow and integrate lessons from your experiences.

Celebrate Your Greatness

There’ll be no shortage of critics trying to chop us down on our path. So why allow your inner voice to be one of them?

By focusing on our best qualities, we nourish them and give permission for our self-appreciation to blossom and grow.

Make a list of your best qualities.
  • What are your natural talents and gifts?
  • What characteristics do your loved ones value in you most?
  • What important roles do you fulfill in your life that adds value to those around you?

If you feel discouraged if these traits don’t come to you quickly, please don’t give up.

Choose to persevere.

I promise that for every negative message that replays in your head, there is a positive truth that you live today to override it with

Choose Uplifting Company

In order for us to clean out the negative clutter of our minds, we need to be cautious of what messages we receive, consume and surround ourselves with.

We won’t always be able to control what messages influence us, but we do have the choice of who we surround ourselves with.

You are so deserving of friends that reflect your beauty and uniqueness.

The further you trek on this road of positive self-talk, the greater confidence and joy you will emanate, increasing your magnetism to people of similar vibrations.

Make room for them by refusing to accept anyone who drags you down or nourishes negative thinking about yourself.

Shape Your Life

Positive self-talk does not aim to deceive us of the truth of life.

I trust you have lived and learned enough from your own experiences to know there will be difficulties in life. We will experience hardships, and we will make mistakes.

The way we relate to these occurrences will influence how we cope and navigate them.

Positive self-talk is an opportunity to see the silver lining in each challenging circumstance we endure, knowing that all that we welcome has the potential to transform us.

If we allow ourselves to perceive it, we can see the truth that each happening in our life manifests to move us forward in our own enhancement and to continue moving forward.

Love + light,

Alyse

Why Loving Yourself Must Come First in Relationships

Many of us spend exuberant amounts of mental, physical, emotional and financial energy in our pursuit of achieving and sustaining long-lasting romantic relationships.

From day-dreaming of “the one,” consuming books, videos and articles on how to charm your “twin flame”, paying for online dating services and investing in cosmetics and apparel to lure and attract our prince or princess charming, the majority of us share this common thread of desire: we want love and we want it now.

We are tricked into believing that we should feel empty, undesirable or as if something is wrong with us if we live any extended period of our life being single.

We make the mistake going into relationships with the belief that someone else will resolve the feeling that something has been missing in our lives.

In no way am I saying the desire to meet someone compatible to our visions, dreams, values and pursuits to co-create our lives with is wrong.

To the contrary, I think a loving, supportive and accepting partnership that aids in our self-growth and development is one of the sweetest blessings to experience in this life.

I am simply saying that we shouldn’t accept misery and a sense of unrelenting attachment in our seeking.

Choose Yourself

When we look to a lover for feelings of security and affirmation, we actually deny ourselves the opportunity to gift those very things to ourselves.

Commit to yourself today.
Commit to waking up every morning and choosing you every single day.
Commit to accepting yourself radically and without condition.
Commit to seeing clearly your perfection and flawlessness in the very way you wish for a romantic partner to.

Ask yourself today:

  • What passions have you been neglecting?
  • In what ways could you better support your own growth of character?
  • What self-care practices have you read of but simply haven’t made the decision to incorporate into your life?
  • How can you love yourself better?

We attract what we are. We must become the very things we long for from a partner.

Make Yourself Your Greatest Lover

Instead of trying to control and manipulate the flow of life, attempting to force romance to surface at your will, what if you chose to instead cultivate yourself to be your greatest lover?

Trust that somewhere out in the world, the person or people who you will share legendary and life-changing love with already exist and chances are, they’re longing and dreaming of meeting you too.

In due time, likely when you least expect it, this chance meeting will occur. When it does, you’ll be able to present yourself as the fascinating, passionate, adventure-living, independent badass that you are, because instead of being the lonesome princess locked away in the tower awaiting her savior, you’ll be the captain of your own life, living with intention, joy and purpose.

Love Yourself Where You’re At

What does it mean to commit to yourself?

It means to create and build a relationship with yourself where you realize you are complete and whole as you are right now.

That there’s no man, woman, job or circumstance that can happen to you that will make you more whole, because you already are.

This means you’re going to love yourself right where you are… not when you score your dream job or lose ten pounds, but right now, already in your perfection.

This means you can and will forgive yourself for your mistakes.

Through this, you will learn that you are a person you can count on. You will realize that you’re the person that will always be there for you, until the end.

And through this you are able to love others exactly where they are, because you have learned how to first do that for yourself.

This kind of love, without expectation, demands or condition, is a force that will not only liberate and set yourself free, but your future beloved too.

It is the kind of love that allows others to feel safe to be exactly who they are, granting permission to let down their guards and be embraced and adored just as they are.

Mahalo,

Alyse

“Marry yourself first. Promise never to leave you!” -Sark

Giving Your Body the Rest it Deserves: Self-Care Practices

Regardless of your lifestyle choices, occupation and day-to-day demands, life sees to it that our bodies will experience a little wear and tear. No one is above this, and as we age, the impact of this accumulation of tension and stress is felt with greater blatancy. That is why incorporating self-care practices into our routine is so important.

Thankfully, we have the choice to perceive this as an invitation to gift our bodies with some much deserved tender, love and care.

With our busy hustle and bustle modern lives, our well being of our precious vessels can often be overlooked.

Feeling pain and discomfort from some being on-the-go nonstop?

Take this as an opportunity to listen to the needs and demands of your body.

  • What is your body communicating to you?
  • How can you better show up for your recuperation so that you can achieve your goals with more comfort, health and joy?

Take a moment to write these questions down, and genuinely answer them for yourself. Then see how you feel about adding in some of these actionable self-care practices.

1. Self-Massage for Ultimate Care

We don’t need to wait until available hands offer to rub our tired and sore muscles when we have the tender care of our own.

Self-massage is one of my favorite forms of self-care and self-love because it feels like a deliberate act of gratitude for all that my body does for me.

Self-care practices for self-massage can be as simple as:

  • Rubbing tight muscles after a session at the gym
  • Patting your hands down your thighs after sitting at your desk for extended periods of time
  • Foam rolling tight spots while watching your favorite show

Tips:

  • Send loving thoughts and appreciation to your body. Thank it for supporting you in getting all your daily tasks done.
  • Save money by using common items such as a tennis ball to release hard to reach trigger points and deeply held knots.

– You can find free resources, articles and videos on Youtube that show how to self-massage.

2. Stretch and Expand

Whether it’s only a few minutes a day or a commitment to a full yoga session or class, any and all efforts to extend and expand your muscles is a medicine your body will thank you deeply for.

Self-care practices include:

  • Attending a yoga class or using a YouTube instructor to start practicing in your own home.
  • Invite a friend or co-worker to build motivation and accountability from each other.
  • Moving intuitively: Use your own unique stretching experience by truly leaning into the needs of your body. Follow the shapes, pathways and movements that provide release, ease and pleasure. If it’s painful, try a different stretch. It should not hurt!

3. Scan and Unravel

If you haven’t practiced body scan meditations before, rest assured that anyone can do it, and there’s no right or wrong way to do so.

Not only are body scans an efficient way to support recovery and healing for the body, but it’s also a beautiful practice to cultivate a deeper, more intimate relationship with your precious body.

Self-care practices for connecting with your body are:

  • Find a comfortable position. I prefer to lay on the floor with a blanket wrapped around me or on a cozy bed surrounded by pillows. Or perhaps you’ll enjoy trying this in the shower. Choose whatever environment and conditions best suits your needs to unwind and be present.
  • Connect to your breath. Follow and feel the sensation of each inhale and exhale. With each cycle of breathing, invite your attention more and more to rest within your body. Explore the sensations of your chest or stomach rising and falling with each breath. Feel into the different ways your body interacts with your breathing.
  • Starting at the soles of your feet and slowly working towards your head, rest your awareness on each region of your body.
  • While scanning each part of your body (calves, thighs, hips, torso, etc.) notice if you come upon any places of tension, pain or discomfort. When you feel an uncomfortable spot, stay with it.
  • With your exhale, allow this tension to dissolve away, imagining the discomfort slipping away from your body and being absorbed by the earth.

3. Bath Bliss

After a long day at work or a grueling week at school, it’s a fine time to draw yourself a hot bath and plunge into some revitalization.

Self-care practices for bath rituals include:

  • Candles
  • Epsom salts
  • Bath bombs
  • Essential oils
  • Relaxing music
  • A good book or audiobook

…and you’re well on your way to ultimate relaxation.

4. You Are Worthy

Self-care practices include working on your thoughts and beliefs. You are worthy of your care, time and attention.

Many of us have not been taught how to give ourselves the time and care necessary to lead healthy and vibrant lives.

Give yourself permission to learn and practice the immense self-care tools that are available to us today.

Reject anyone and any belief that tells you to feel shame or guilt for investing in your own wellbeing. Self-care practices are healthy and important.

You are worthy of feeling comfortable, relaxed and strong in your body.

Mahalo,

Alyse

“Caring for your body, mind, and spirit is your greatest and grandest responsibility. It’s about listening to the needs of your soul and then honoring them.” –Kristi Ling

How to Live Like There’s No Tomorrow

Imagine if you were able to lead your life with the enduring understanding that your days are limited.

If we’re lucky, we’ll have a long life of health and prosperity ahead of us. But the truth is, we never really know when our ultimate impermanence will be upon us.

We are not promised tomorrow.

What if you were to live each day of your life as if it were your last? How would you live your live differently?

Forgive and Forget

We believe that resentment and anger will harm those who may have caused us hurt, but this is much the opposite.

I urge you to let them go.

Choosing forgiveness and reconciliation, even when apologies haven’t been granted, is a path of righteousness and humility.

It is a gift to yourself to release animosity that no longer serves your life. And in doing so, you make more space for freedom and joy.

Say What You Need to Say

A common sentiment expressed at a loved ones’ passing is regret over what words could have, but were not said.

Instead of waiting until it’s too late, express your love and appreciation to those who matter NOW.

Be vulnerable and bold in bearing your heart to those in your life.

Tell your best friend how her humor helps you through hard times or how your boss’s words of encouragement leave you feeling wildly blessed.

In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take.

Take the risk.

Love fiercely and fearlessly. It’s what we’re here to do. It’s what lights up our life after all.

Be Here Now

It’s commonplace for our mind to get wrapped up in regret over the past, and consumed by fear and anxiety over the future. When you catch your thoughts slipping into these habitual patterns, take a deep breath, ground yourself and return to this knowing:

You cannot change what has already been written and your worries are absorbed by a future that does not exist in this moment.

This moment is all that we ever have.

Give yourself permission to accept what has happened in your past.

Whatever will be, will be, therefore be at ease.

All that we are seeking and grasping for in life and all the contentment and peace we are chasing… can be found in this very moment.

Cultivate your mind and learn to live it.

“Life is Too Short”… So Go Enjoy It!

As you wake to each new day, I want you to reflect on what you will do with this precious, fleeting life.

What will you do today that matters… to you? How will you uplift yourself and others? What actions can you take to set your passions and enthusiasm aflame?

TIPS:

  • Do what you love and try your best in it.
  • Take risks, invest in your potential and celebrate all the blessings and gifts that surround you.
  • Don’t fixate on petty issues and strive to see the beauty in all situations.
  • Live today and the next, and the next… as if it were your last. Live it to the fullest, as if it were the only you had.

Repeat:

  • “Thank you for today, for it is a gift.”
  • “I accept my past and release fear of my future.”
  • “I live in the here and now.”
Mahalo,

Alyse